t.c.i.m.p.o.j.m.k.

[The Collected Instant Messenger Poetry
of Jonathan M. Katz]

The following items were written in between 15 and 30 seconds by the author after his interlocutor provided him with the name of the poem he wished to have written. The poems were released to great fanfare on the Pacific island of Vanuatu, where they were a finalist in the Miss Vanuatu competition. Here the poems make their North American debut. -- Ed.

The Man Who Ate Bubbie

The man who ate Bubbie
Was taller than not
And all of the days he was singing
We watched as he hit her
And peeled off her clot
And pooped in the food she was bringing.

A Radically Condensed History
of the Medill School of Journalism

Founded with money
Built with a hammer
Named for a man
Who belonged in the slammer
Raised up on souls
Of some kids who could write
Beaten by day
And laughed at by night.

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